the last 2 days have been very rough for me. I’ve felt extremely overwhelmed, immersed in self-doubt and criticism, exhausted and sick, scared for my family and all we are dealing with  and so down on my body image that I’ve actually had to tell myself ‘you can only cry about this for 5 more minutes then you must stop.’ Two of the crying sessions have been mercifully interrupted by the right people, but some who knew of my struggles didn’t really seem to care as much as I thought they should, which added another level to my dismal days: frustration in friendships and feelings of abandonment (much of it unfounded).

I’ve recovered from it for the most part today, although I do have to admit that part of the intensity of these feelings was indeed compounded by the part of the month I am in. Some new feelings arrived this morning when I arrived at work and I felt slighted and left out of the loop on an important project, but that is some of the sacrifice I’ve had to make by dropping to part-time. When I think of the work I’m doing at home (which has slowed-down a tiny bit – worried/stressed, and a few of my clients are half-rate which is also difficult), I have no regrets. Those days and that time and working from home are so amazing. Then I come back to the agency and I still feel so much value to this job and so much still to learn and be involved in… for me it is a decent balance right now.

Alright well I have an important luncheon to attend that just found out about so I’m off… Thanks for listening to a more frustrated/less pure interest/beauty type post ….

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 at 4:16 pm and is filed under blogging, design, family, freelance, friends, health, life, spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.